Untitled

By: Carmen Cooper

I am going to fall again.

I feel it.

The process has already begun.

My stomach hurts.

That little piece of pain that grows inside of me. 

I feel like crying again.

As soon as you touched me.

I felt I could not escape from the pain, the gain
I will not have from this.
Mirrors do tell the truth, I thought as I swipe my lipstick across the crescent of my lips.
Do a little dance.
My heart beats.
But why do I forget?
I know what you did.
How you forgot.
I curse the day I met you because you trapped me.
Pulled me so close, such a tight grip on me.
I cannot break the chains.
But yet there are no chains.
I feel the want and lust yearning to be released.
I feel I want to act out on it.
To release it, let it take over me.
But.
I feel that I do not trust you.
You have very beautiful brown eyes that put me in a trance.
That blinds me sometimes.
As you hold me with your gaze.
Wrap your arms around me,
Pull me closer,
Brush your lips against mine.
Twirl my hair with your rough fingers,
And darling glare.
Oh sweet heart, my sweet heart.
My blessed emotions.
It is lust that drives me insane.
I want germs that you give me.
Your lovely disease that you spread through my whole body.
I hunger for you.
But is not love, lust?
But greedy love?
Do I?
Will you?
Passionately kiss me.
I feel it you see.
I feel it.
The rainbows, the thunder storms, the bright colours at the end, starting to rot me .
The process beginning again.
This is not the end.
This is the start of a new.
So I let the pain strike me.
The swim out of the drowning abyss of lust.
Love feed me.
Anxiety suffocate me.
But strength drive me into hypnotizing you.
It all began with your beautiful brown eyes, and my sweet brown eyes staring back at you.
Perhaps you will soon understand.
What forces keep you here.
I do not praise you, nor gravel at your feet.
You begged me.
So you are at my below.
But still anxiety suffocates me, I am scared with all my power.
My tyranny over your kingdom is very hard to keep from conquering you.
But your spell on me is hard to counter.
We need help.
We need more armor.
But you insist that everything is protected as reason leaks through the ceiling, creating cracks and mold.
Our house is fine you say, why invest in something that doesn't feel broken?