Farewell

Farewell.

By: Carmen Cooper

I started as nothing

A fire started inside of me burning me like I am

My mother took her soft, cool, hard hands

Tenderly breaking me and molding me in the shape of a tiny her

Alas, I was me straying off arguing with her

You can’t change who I am mom!

My aunt listened to me but we all know she can’t keep secrets

She whispered behind closed doors with cracks and everything echoes, you can hear what was being said while the shower, a stereo, and an action movie played in the background

There are rules, chores to be taken care of

Bruises that heal later

We have to be a Christian family, a family that prays together stays together, my grandmother hissed at me because I told her Christianity was corrupted and overrated

You are just confused sweetie we all sometimes stray away from our paths

Where you fell down just to be picked up and screaming was normal

Let’s all talk over each other because no one is right

From the shut up close my door what do you want leave me alone you’re a fucking ass hole why did you tell her that you’re a waste up space I might kill myself

The blood dripping knuckle cracking sharp edges and heartbreak pain killers

The medication that keeps your schizophrenia skeleton hidden in the closet

Scary movies and the horror of reality, missing lipstick, headphones, the smell of bleach on the kitchen floor

I love all of it, the hugging, kissing, laughing, crying then hugging again to make everything feel better

Looking past the past and on to a better future because I am the first to attend school anyways

Dear mother, I will try to not disappoint you and to be just like you only ten folds better and one day take care of you in your old age, to remember everything that you taught me

There are rules in the house, and rules in life

When I get lost to follow them and they will take

Care.